#18: Drive-Thru Tip Jars

This "Thing That Sucks" is brought to you by Monique. Thanks for the idea, Monique! It just so happens I have a story to go with this idea:

So this past Saturday I was at Sonic. I pull up to the drive-thru...there's one car in front of me. That person places their order and drives up to the window. So, I inch up to the speaker.

:pause:

:pause:

"Hello?" I ask. Not rudely...just wondering if they know I'm here.

"Hold just a minute please sir." This young boy's voice says.

So I hold. And I hold. And I hold. Three minutes go by. The car in front of me has now left with it's order. There are now four cars behind me. And I still haven't placed my order yet.

"Hello?" I ask again. Perhaps not as politely as the time before.

After a few seconds pause. "Just one more minute please sir."

I look around. It's not like the restaurant is packed. There are maybe four other cars in all of the stalls. By now, the lady behind me is trying to find a way to get out of the line. She's tired of waiting.

Finally, the voice comes back.

"How can I help you today?" (Hmmm...what a loaded question. You could start by not making me wait 5 minutes to place my order you little *&^%$#!) But I refrain.

"Two Ocean Water Slushes please."

"I'm sorry. Our slush machine isn't working today."

:Aaaaaaaargh!:

"Okay, then two large Ocean Waters please."

"Please pull up to the window." I do and there's the kid who looks no more than 14 years old. I don't know if it's his first day on the job or what, but he's struggling just to figure out how to fill two cups with ice, Sprite and coconut flavoring. Meanwhile, there's three other workers inside. Guess what they're doing? Eating. That's right. It's lunch break for the Sonic crew while Einstein here tries to manage the window by himself.

As I get ready to leave, I notice a tip jar sitting outside the window. You're kidding, right?

Here's your tip: Quit your dayjob.

Let's be honest: It's difficult enough to get a teenage boy to think about anyone other than himself and girls. But it's not like these are the most difficult jobs in the world either. You take the order, you fill the order. You take the money, you make change. And now, I'm supposed to tip you too? Whatever!

Drive-Thru Tip Jars: You Suck.

#1 Teen Superstars

I think there are fewer things in this world more nauseating than a teenager who has become a pop icon for no other reason than mommy and daddy had money or influence. Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears (though she's not a teen anymore) are a couple of good examples.

Our media-soaked children suck up the drivel that these teen pop stars ooze out like it's a free-flowing AirHeads candy dispenser.

Let's be honest...Britney Spears' first project came out and she was all cute and adorable. Then the record label found out that boys were buying it because they thought she was, dare I say, "sexy." Then off came the clothes...all of the sudden you couldn't find the wholesome apple pie faced girl anymore. It was cleavage-bearing blouses and short skirts. And it's only gone downhill from there. Now, she couldn't sell an air conditioner to a desert rat without a picture of her half naked on it.


And Miley Cyrus...are you serious?
Her dad was the Achy Breaky cheeseball of country pop that we all laughed at--and some line-danced to. Who allowed him to procreate? So now he's parading his daughter ala Hannah Montana on stage for an entire generation of simpletons who couldn't care less that she can't sing to save her life. Did you see her on Idol Gives Back? Does the kid even know how to sing?

This weekend, as my son was watching Saturday morning cartoons, I was also bombarded with the pathetically predictable Naked Brothers Band of tweens as they slopped their way through the "I Don't Want to Go to School" anthem. Geez...who could've predicted that jingle from a 12 year old?

It doesn't take much to market to children. Flash it up, give it a predictably hooky song and you've got 'em. But record labels have never feared stooping for the lowest common denominator. (And our music industry wonders why it's dying a slow and miserable death.)

Teen superstars (and those who "create" them) You Suck.