#22: "Move To The Center" Announcements

So my wife and I decide we really wanna see the new Indiana Jones movie. After all, we've watched the first three a few times now. We're big fans!

We hire a babysitter for Friday night. Buy the tickets early online...and arrive at the theatre an hour early, knowing there's going to be a line. And there was, but our early arrival paid off. We got the exact seats we wanted: On the front row of the middle section, there are three seats that have extra leg room...and a footrest. They're just a few seats left of center. Perfect!

So we're sitting there, watching the silly trivia screens go by over and over again, listening to crappy music of independent artists we've never heard of being piped through the speakers. And the theatre is starting to fill up. Within 30 minutes, the place is pretty packed. And, just 5 minutes left til start time, a crowd of people come in. They're looking around, pointing, making disgusted looks on their faces like "I can't believe our favorite seats are taken!" Then, inevitably, one of them points to the very front row:

"There are seats over there."

"No, I don't wanna sit that close" the other says. So they stare back at the crowd for a few more seconds, scouring for two empty seats next to each other.

Hello! It's a summer blockbuster. Who shows up at 5 minutes til and thinks they're going to get the perfect seats? Then the pimply faced kid who sells popcorn behind the counter comes to the front of the auditorium.

"Excuse me everyone. This is a sold out show. So I'm going to ask you to move to the center of your aisle, to make room for those just coming in."

"What? Hell no! I got here an hourly early so I could choose which seat I want! I'm not moving because Johnny come lately just showed up and wants his aisle seat! Screw that! I'm paying $30 for a babysitter, $18 for two tickets, $12 for popcorn and drinks. For $60, guess what...I get to choose the seat I want!"

Let's be honest: I know there are all kinds of reasons people show up late. Traffic...kids...wife fussing over what to wear...husband forgot the tickets and had to go back in to look for them. But the truth is that if you can't get there early, then you gotta live with the seats that are available.

"Move to the Center" announcements: You Suck.