Thursday, October 30, 2008

#40: Pet Hair

"Let's get a puppy!"

Awww...little puppy breath...little puppy kisses. A playful little pup that wants to sit in your lap and take naps with you. Awwwww...


Yeah, it's cute til little puppy grows up. And starts shedding. And shedding. And shedding. And then decides to destroy your remote controls, eat furniture and shred your sofa. But I digress.

I hate pet hair. It's on my furniture. It clogs up the vacuum cleaner...but somehow still manages to cling to the carpet. It's on my clothes. I have to keep a lint roller in my desk at in my car...and two or three in the house.

Pet hair is magical. And not in a good way. I'm serious. I opened a can of tuna the other day. I swear one of my dog's hairs was already in there! It's frickin' everywhere! Yech!

Let's be honest: Pets can be wonderful. They can be great companions...and bring much joy. But, as is with most good things, there's always a downside. And this downside permeates, clings, coats and sticks to everything. Now, if you could package pet hair and sell it, that would be nice. I'd be frickin' rich! Too bad that hairless dogs look way too freaky.

Screw it. I'm gettin' a goldfish.

Pet Hair: You Suck!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

#39: Political Advertising

I probably don't have to write much about this one. You probably already get it. It's bad enough that we have to endure McCain calling Obama this...and Obama calling McCain that. But then you have your state candidates who add to the mix. And, what's worse, the terrible local, low-budget political ads.

Enough already!

You can't watch a single program...on any channel...without being bombarded with this crap.
Some are worthless. Some are just plain mudslinging. At least some are funny:

Let's be honest: Yeah, television advertising is a powerful medium. And yes, most voters are so stupid they'll believe anything you tell them on TV. "Obama's gonna raise your taxes!", "McCain is a George Bush clone!" I get it. I get that you have to attack the airwaves with ads to keep your name, agenda out front. But geez...have we pushed the limit this election or what?

Political Ads: You Suck!

I'm Hoover Maneuver and I approve this message.

Friday, October 24, 2008

#38: Smoking Restaurants

So, I was in Michigan this past week for a work-related project and went out to eat a couple of times while I was there.

Man, have I been spoiled in Colorado. I had forgotten how disgusting it is to go out to eat and be inundated with the stench of cigarette smoke. I had forgotten how it penetrates your clothes, your hair...and yes, even your food. Doesn't matter that the restaurants have a "non-smoking section." No one told that to the smoke. It wanders whereever it pleases. And, as it used to be in Colorado before we passed the smoke-free legislation, restaurants typically have the non-smoking section just a few feet away from the smoking section anyway. Why bother?

Let's be honest: You have a right to smoke. I have a right to clean air. At some point, our rights are going to conflict. And when they do, they should always lean in the direction of protection. As in protecting me from the hazardous filth that you're pouring out into the atmosphere.

I don't care what filth you put into your body. That's your decision. But it's also my decision what filth I put into MY body. And I shouldn't have to endure your cigarette smoke just because I want to go out to eat.

Michigan...get on the ball. It's time we stopped smoking in public places in every state.

Side Note: What's funny is how smokers think they can hide the stench with gum, perfume, whatever. You can't. Non-smokers can tell if you smoke within seconds of meeting you. I don't care if you haven't had a cigarette in hours. It's on you like skunk odor. And, I'm sure I'll offend some people by saying this, but girls who think they look sexy with a cigarette...yech! I've met women who have no idea how smoking is changing their faces. The wrinkles around the lips. The yellow teeth. The dark circles under the eyes. The crow's feet. The pronounced nasal labial folds. Absolute and total turn-off. Just my .02

Restaurants with "Smoking Sections": You Suck!