"Let's get a puppy!"
Awww...little puppy breath...little puppy kisses. A playful little pup that wants to sit in your lap and take naps with you. Awwwww...
Yeah, it's cute til little puppy grows up. And starts shedding. And shedding. And shedding. And then decides to destroy your remote controls, eat furniture and shred your sofa. But I digress.
I hate pet hair. It's on my furniture. It clogs up the vacuum cleaner...but somehow still manages to cling to the carpet. It's on my clothes. I have to keep a lint roller in my desk at work...one in my car...and two or three in the house.
Pet hair is magical. And not in a good way. I'm serious. I opened a can of tuna the other day. I swear one of my dog's hairs was already in there! It's frickin' everywhere! Yech!
Let's be honest: Pets can be wonderful. They can be great companions...and bring much joy. But, as is with most good things, there's always a downside. And this downside permeates, clings, coats and sticks to everything. Now, if you could package pet hair and sell it, that would be nice. I'd be frickin' rich! Too bad that hairless dogs look way too freaky.
Screw it. I'm gettin' a goldfish.
Pet Hair: You Suck!