Thursday, October 30, 2008

#40: Pet Hair

"Let's get a puppy!"

Awww...little puppy breath...little puppy kisses. A playful little pup that wants to sit in your lap and take naps with you. Awwwww...


Yeah, it's cute til little puppy grows up. And starts shedding. And shedding. And shedding. And then decides to destroy your remote controls, eat furniture and shred your sofa. But I digress.

I hate pet hair. It's on my furniture. It clogs up the vacuum cleaner...but somehow still manages to cling to the carpet. It's on my clothes. I have to keep a lint roller in my desk at in my car...and two or three in the house.

Pet hair is magical. And not in a good way. I'm serious. I opened a can of tuna the other day. I swear one of my dog's hairs was already in there! It's frickin' everywhere! Yech!

Let's be honest: Pets can be wonderful. They can be great companions...and bring much joy. But, as is with most good things, there's always a downside. And this downside permeates, clings, coats and sticks to everything. Now, if you could package pet hair and sell it, that would be nice. I'd be frickin' rich! Too bad that hairless dogs look way too freaky.

Screw it. I'm gettin' a goldfish.

Pet Hair: You Suck!


Monique said...

Awwwww. cute puppy pic... I'll be back to read this when I'm done boo'ing....

Oh.... You've been Boo'd

Monique said...

I'm back... and I still say awwww cute puppy. My dogs don't shed all that much and what I gain in warm toes, cuddles and kisses is worth a little effort.

So did you seriously say no to the dog?

Hoover Maneuver said...

No, we've had a dog for 8 years now...and she's a long-haired mutt that sheds like crazy.

That's what precipitated the post. Everytime the dog pukes on the floor or gets hair all over everything, I always say to my wife in a sarcastic, condascending tone:

"oh, let's get a dog!"

Truth is, I love my dog...just hate the hair.

Monique said...

Ahhh Gotcha.

Truthfully I could have the same argument for cat hair. I despise it. They should just run continuous promotions for lint rollers w/ bags of cat food.