Wednesday, December 31, 2008

#41: The Dallas Cowboys

First, let me say that I have been a Cowboys fan since 1975. I was just a kid then, but I knew I liked the Cowboys. (Of course, growing up in Texas didn't hurt.)

But being a Cowboys fan is like being a glutton for disappointment. How many years have we said, "Next year..." How many years have we watched our team NOT SHOW UP for the big games? How many years do we have to watch a lukewarm quarterback? I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of Tony Romo. He's awful. He's a collapser. As in he crumbles when the going gets tough. That's not a quarterback, that's a cheerleader. Put a skirt on Tony. You don't deserve to be under center. You're the new Danny White. Start flashy--fizzle out. All hype--no game. Tony Romo: You Suck

I'm sick of our powder puff head coach Wade Phillips. He took the most talented group of athletes ever assembled on a roster and turned them into mediocre players. It's the coach's job to get the players ready for each opponent. You failed...miserably. Wade Phillips: You Suck

I'm sick of an offensive line that can't block. Seriously? You guys are huge? And people are still running over you like 8th graders. Offensive Line: You Suck

I'm ESPECIALLY SICK of Jason Garrett--the most predictable and uncreative play caller in all of football. How in the hell did you land this job? Hey dumbass, on 3rd ad 6 why are you calling -2 yard pass plays? Get the ball to the first down marker, for crying out loud! Good grief, I hope the Lions do take you as head coach. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. Buh-bye. Jason Garrett: You Suck

The defensive secondary just can't seem to stop the deep pass. Every team we played knew this. And the smart ones lit us up on deep passes all season long. Newsflash secondary: YOU CAN'T PLAY ZONE. YOU'RE NO GOOD AT IT. QUIT TRYING. Defensive secondary: You Suck.

Notice I didn't single out TO. While some of his antics this year were a bit bothersome, overall I think he's good for the team. In fact, he's one of the few true competitors on this team of candy asses. So no TO--you don't suck. Neither does Jason Witten. What a tough guy. And Tashard Choice--I look forward to what you do next year along with our barbarian running back, Marion.

Thanks Dallas Cowboys. You made me hate the game again. You once again convinced me to believe--then you, yourselves didn't even believe in yourselves enough to show up.

Dallas Cowboys: You Suck.

1 comment:

Monique said...

Just stopping to say Happy New Year.....