Monday, May 12, 2008

#16: Bad Drivers

As I've said in an earlier post, I rarely like driving. Partly because of road construction, stop lights and speed traps. But mostly it's because there are a lot of idiots out there. Bad drivers suck.

There are all kinds of bad drivers. Here's a list of some of my biggest peeves that people do when they get behind the wheel:


  • Drive slow in the fast lane. If another driver has to pass you on the right, you're holding up traffic. Move over already.

  • Riding your brakes through a green light..."just in case it turns yellow." Ugh. This pisses me off to no end. But so many people do it. I will never understand it. If the light's green...GO!

  • Not paying attention when you're at a stoplight. Listen, if you are the first car in line, it's your responsibility to watch the light. I shouldn't have to honk my horn to tell you that it's green.

  • Shaving or putting on your makeup while driving. Seriously? Listen, spend 5 more minutes at home and get your makeup and shaving done. And trust me, the lighting in your car is nowhere as good as it is in your bathroom mirror. When you put your makeup on in your car--it shows. And not in a good way.

  • Trying to talk on your cell phone while driving. Most people don't realize this, but the second they pick up their cell phone, their foot goes on the brake. People slow down or even ride their brakes while talking on the phone. Trust me...you can't do it. You're not a good enough driver. Stop trying to talk on the phone.
  • And even worse, texting and driving. This should be illegal. My wife was just involved in a car wreck last week, when a girl rear-ended her because she was texting and not paying attention to the traffic in front of her.

  • Tailgating. (Now, first let me say that if I'm holding you up in the fast lane, then maybe I deserve to be tailgated. But if I'm in the slow lane, minding my own business...get off my ass!) The right lane is for people who want to drive slower. You should know that. You have no right to harass them. But if you're going to tailgate, be prepared to eventually meet someone's bumper. And it is ALWAYS your fault when you rear-end someone.
  • Riding with your dog (or cat) in your lap. Are you kidding me? What...there aren't enough distractions on the road that you need to worry about whether Fido is going to try to lick you in the face while you're doing 70mph? Get your *&^%$# mutt in the back seat already! Or better yet, leave pets at home.

  • Staying in my blind spot. Either pass me...or drop farther back so I can see you in my side mirror. But riding along side my back tire is unsafe for both of us.
  • Talking and driving. Not everyone is bad at this, but some are. My wife is a good example. She can't talk to you without wanting to use hand gestures and make eye contact. So, the second she starts talking, the foot lets up off the gas. If it's a long sentence, we're coasting!
Let's be honest: We're all bad drivers to some extent. Something you do in the car is likely to annoy the hell out of me. And something I do is surely going to drive you crazy. So, as far as that's concerned, I guess we all suck. But these are some basic things that we can all be better about. Driving can be dangerous. Why add any more tension to it?

Bad Drivers: You Suck.

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