Monday, April 14, 2008

#1 Teen Superstars

I think there are fewer things in this world more nauseating than a teenager who has become a pop icon for no other reason than mommy and daddy had money or influence. Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears (though she's not a teen anymore) are a couple of good examples.

Our media-soaked children suck up the drivel that these teen pop stars ooze out like it's a free-flowing AirHeads candy dispenser.

Let's be honest...Britney Spears' first project came out and she was all cute and adorable. Then the record label found out that boys were buying it because they thought she was, dare I say, "sexy." Then off came the clothes...all of the sudden you couldn't find the wholesome apple pie faced girl anymore. It was cleavage-bearing blouses and short skirts. And it's only gone downhill from there. Now, she couldn't sell an air conditioner to a desert rat without a picture of her half naked on it.

And Miley Cyrus...are you serious?
Her dad was the Achy Breaky cheeseball of country pop that we all laughed at--and some line-danced to. Who allowed him to procreate? So now he's parading his daughter ala Hannah Montana on stage for an entire generation of simpletons who couldn't care less that she can't sing to save her life. Did you see her on Idol Gives Back? Does the kid even know how to sing?

This weekend, as my son was watching Saturday morning cartoons, I was also bombarded with the pathetically predictable Naked Brothers Band of tweens as they slopped their way through the "I Don't Want to Go to School" anthem. Geez...who could've predicted that jingle from a 12 year old?

It doesn't take much to market to children. Flash it up, give it a predictably hooky song and you've got 'em. But record labels have never feared stooping for the lowest common denominator. (And our music industry wonders why it's dying a slow and miserable death.)

Teen superstars (and those who "create" them) You Suck.


Monique said...

Gotta agree w/ you.

I laughed when I read the Naked Brothers Band bit. Nice to know I'm not the only one stuck in Nickleodeon hell sometimes.

Even if I limit the consumption, I'm amazed at my son's (9) knowledge of certain products and then it dawns on me, must be on Nick.

He floored me talking about Oasis contacts today. Out of nowhere. But again, must be on Nick.

Speaking of, Spongebob has been on in the background and said commercial is on now.

Good Luck w/ your blog, stop by mine sometime and say Hi.....

jwane said...

Oh yeah, I'm going to love this blog. Thanks for starting it and you'll probably be surprised to find out how many you speak for.

Hoover Maneuver said...


Yes...hell is a good way to describe Nick. Holy cow. I mean some of the programs are kinda funny...but the commercials are over the top annoying!

Thanks for reading...and for commenting.

Hoover Maneuver said...


Thanks for the support. Checked out your blog. OMG...I LOVE the Cobra!

Thanks for reading...and for commenting.

Meta Marie said...

I'm actually a 15-year-old, and I agree 100%!!
I can't stand Miley Cyrus, even though others seem to think she is a good singer!
She's terrible, and her lyrics are even worse!
And the clothes she wears on stage!! Um, huh???
Keep on posting! You may not be agreed with all the time but you sure do speak for us normal people!!!

Hoover Maneuver said...

Wow. I'm shocked to see a 15-year old girl actually agree with me on that one. :-)
Thank you, meta marie for taking time to read...and to post a comment.


I checked out meta marie's new blog. She is ONE HECK OF A writer. You should check it out too.