#1 Teen Superstars

I think there are fewer things in this world more nauseating than a teenager who has become a pop icon for no other reason than mommy and daddy had money or influence. Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears (though she's not a teen anymore) are a couple of good examples.

Our media-soaked children suck up the drivel that these teen pop stars ooze out like it's a free-flowing AirHeads candy dispenser.

Let's be honest...Britney Spears' first project came out and she was all cute and adorable. Then the record label found out that boys were buying it because they thought she was, dare I say, "sexy." Then off came the clothes...all of the sudden you couldn't find the wholesome apple pie faced girl anymore. It was cleavage-bearing blouses and short skirts. And it's only gone downhill from there. Now, she couldn't sell an air conditioner to a desert rat without a picture of her half naked on it.


And Miley Cyrus...are you serious?
Her dad was the Achy Breaky cheeseball of country pop that we all laughed at--and some line-danced to. Who allowed him to procreate? So now he's parading his daughter ala Hannah Montana on stage for an entire generation of simpletons who couldn't care less that she can't sing to save her life. Did you see her on Idol Gives Back? Does the kid even know how to sing?

This weekend, as my son was watching Saturday morning cartoons, I was also bombarded with the pathetically predictable Naked Brothers Band of tweens as they slopped their way through the "I Don't Want to Go to School" anthem. Geez...who could've predicted that jingle from a 12 year old?

It doesn't take much to market to children. Flash it up, give it a predictably hooky song and you've got 'em. But record labels have never feared stooping for the lowest common denominator. (And our music industry wonders why it's dying a slow and miserable death.)

Teen superstars (and those who "create" them) You Suck.