Wednesday, April 23, 2008

#8: "Those" Commercials--Updated

You ever get that "not so fresh feeling?" You know what I'm talking about. That feeling that comes when you're watching your favorite TV show, only to be interrupted by a commercial for a "personal hygiene" item?

Man oh man. Some things used to be sacred. Used to be. Last night, I'm watching TV and a commercial comes on with a woman squirming around in her chair. The voice-over says:

"Got an uncomfortable itch? But you can't scratch it in public?"

Oh come on!!!

What has happened to television? We've got women talking about vaginal odor and some goober grinning from ear to ear because his "natural growth enhancement" pill is working. (I absolutely could NOT believe the Christmas commercial where the women are lining up to sit on Santa's lap because he took the enhancement pill.)

As I said, USED TO BE sacred. Ugh. Can we keep some things to ourselves?

Tampons, douches, vaginal cream, erectile dysfunction, incontinence name it. We'll talk about anything on TV these days.

Some of them even come with jingles. Take a look:

"Summer's Eve...brings back freshness everytime!"'s got a nice ring to it! Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

What about the abomination that they did to Elvis' Viva Las Vegas for the Viagra commercial? If he were really dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave!

Let's be honest. Yeah, these are natural things that happen to people. And yeah I'm glad that there's a product to help with these problems. But why oh why do we have to see these commercials? If you've got one of these problems, you can find the product. Trust me...if you really need it, you'll find it.

So can we just keep some things to ourselves? Let's get back to the commercials that make toys look much more fun that they actually are...and the ones that show unrealistically happy families sitting around the dinner table. Let's get back to car commercials that show drivers doing things we'll never be allowed to do without getting arrested. (Professional driver. Do not attempt. Then why show it on the commercial when you're trying to sell me the car?)

Sorry. I digress. The point is, there are plenty of other annoying commercials out there. Can't we stay away from anything that has to do with the area between the belly button and thighs?

"Those" commercials: You Suck.

UPDATE: I found a copy of the Christmas commercial I was talking I added it. Also...I thought of another one this morning. Couldn't believe it when I saw it. It was for one of those adult diapers (not sure if it was Depends or not), where a woman is stuck in traffic and has to go to the bathroom. The announcer says something like, "Good thing she's got her Depends" and then you see the woman just start smiling, as she's sitting in her car. She's peeing in the car!!! For crying out loud!


Monique said...

What is this Santa's lap commercial ?

The only male enhancement drug thing besides Viagra (and the like) that I've seen, is an infomercial that refers to a man's happy place by saying "... it enhances that certain part of the male body". And they annoyingly say it every other sentence w/ a sly grin.

Amazingly every single man they stopped on the street is presently using it and is happy to say that "it is bigger now".

Hoover Maneuver said...


Yeah, we have a series of commercials here that show "Bob"...and Bob is constantly grinning, because his male enhancement medicine has "made him a new man!"
There's one where he's swimming in a backyard swimming pool and his shorts come off...and the neighbor ladies are all pointing and smiling. Then there's the Christmas one, where he's dressed like Santa...and it's not kids lining up to sit on his lap, but adult women. Ha!

I guess I gotta admit...they are pretty funny.

Monique said...

My gosh man, what channel are you watchin' ?? LOL

No, really, what channel, I want to see these too.

Monique said...

LMAO oh my... that is just too damn funny...

Would have been good to if she had a baby in the car, she could do an over the shoulder glance back and they could both giggle about peeing themselves.

Hoover Maneuver said...


Yeah, actually, that would have been a great ending to the commercial!